Posted by: morethananelectrician | June 2, 2008

My Sweetarts story

I promised someone (Bluesuit) my Sweetarts story.  She had a post about some “Old-School” candy and it made me think of this story…

Background

I spent five years in the Army, three of those years were spent on an isolated mountain with 4-5 other single soldiers ranging between the ages of 19-25.    Our mission was to maintain communication between Berlin and the rest of the world.   During this period, East Germany was in control of the U.S.S.R. and we were stationed within two miles of the border and could see the Russian listening post built to intercept our transmissions.

Eventhough this may seem like a very difficult mission, our job was to simply maintain our equipment and repair any problems promptly.  But we had redundant systems…if one went down, we had another one right behind it ready to go.  

This meant that we had a lot of time and not a lot to do. 

I learned to love reading during my time up there and we also played a LOT of Pinochle.

All that was just the background, whew…are you still there?

Actual Story

One evening, after our five hour trip to the commissary, a fellow resident had brought out his large bag of Sweetarts.  The large bag was filled with probably 100 smaller bags of this familiar candy.

 

As he opened the first package, he was amazed that he had two of the three candies that said “bite em” embossed on it.  

I told him that is wasn’t so odd, that I was sure it was about a 50/50 ratio of “S’s” to “bite ‘em’s”. 

He said that it was less that 25% “bite ‘em” and DOUBLE DARED me to bet him otherwise.

After deciding that the loser of the bet would have to eat the entire pile of 300+ Sweetarts in one sitting, we agreed and began opening packages.

It became evident rather quickly that he was going to be right and I was going to have to consume MANY Sweetarts.

It turned out to be about 10%  ”Bite ‘em” and  90% “S”.

I started with a handful, stuffed them in my mouth and completed the task in about 30 minutes, despite a little pain.

This little pain turned into a big pain as blisters began forming on my tongue and the sides of my mouth.

For the next 2 1/2 weeks, I endured the pain of 14 blisters inside of my mouth from this little bet about the embossing of letters on the Sweetarts.

This happened about 16 years ago and I have managed to eat about three of four of them since them, but every Halloween, when we pour the candy out on the table and inspect it, my mouth begins to water and my eyes start twitching whenever I see that old familiar Sweetart wrapper.

 


Responses

  1. I LOVE that! You are so funny :)

    I wish that was something I could forget about. I eat one sometimes just to make myself laugh!

  2. I knew this wasn’t gonna turn out nice when your percentage guess was so high. Oh, you poor man!!!
    Ha, ha…hee, hee..snort! (oops!) —I’m laughing with you, not at you. Yeah; that’s it–with you.

    I guess that I never noticed the writing on them before that day. I learned that day only to bet on this you know can win or control.

  3. I read your posts all the time but never know when to jump in. This is so funny and sweet all rolled into one.

    *side note* I can no longer eat red vine licorice because of the time I sat and ate 6 lbs while driving cross country. I now get a rash from the red food dye whenever I eat it.

    Jump in whenever you feel like it…as you can tell, I am harmless!

    Wow! That is a lot of licorice! Those blisters in my mouth and the scar left on my soul were my punishment.

  4. OUCH! I can’t believe you were able to follow through on that!

    Boys/young men cannot squelch on a bet. It is simply not allowed.

  5. Ow, the Sweet Tart blisters. That the thought makes my tongue hurt and my jaw lock up. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at Sweet Tarts the same way ever again.

    I am going to find one now. My mouth is watering.

  6. What a story. Ouch! And yet somehow, I still find myself wanting a sweetart. (Not hundreds of them, though.)

    You know, I never noticed the ratios of what was written on those candies before. Next time I have a package of them, I’ll think about that. (Of course, that probably won’t be till Halloween.)

    Trust me on the ratio part…don’t bet on the “bite em” tarts. You’ll go wrong every time!

  7. Just reading about Sweetarts has made my mouth water, and now I need to go get some. Thanks!

    Be sure to brush your teeth! I don’t want to cause tooth decay with my blog post!

  8. Holy Crap that was funny! My jaw tightened when it became evident you were going to have to eat all of them and I was thinking, “Wouldn’t all that candy make his tongue sore and throw off his tastebuds?” But I never imagined it would give you blisters – and so many of them! And as a side note, I’m eating a pack right now and all three of them have the letter S. I didn’t know they wrote anything else on them. Now I’ll be on the lookout!

    I told you that I had a story for you. There are quite a few of those mountain top stories that will come out when the time is right…many of them have been blocked out.

  9. ooooooo. that’s horrible. and horribly funny.

    about 20 years ago I had similar injuries from too many Sour Patch candies (or whatever they are called)

    The thought of those Sour Patch candies makes my eyes twitch too…they must be in the same candy family!

  10. [...] the way, this post title is in part inspired by a recent post I read involving a whole hell of a lot of [...]

  11. OUCH! You definitely overdosed on these! (14 blisters!!)

  12. I called my mom from the mountain and she suggested that I squeeze Vitamin B on the blisters and they began to heal right away. Mommy helped!


Leave a response

Your response:

Categories