Our Saturday night was drawing to a peaceful end despite being thrown a curveball with a grill failure and thunderstorm during the July 5th family cookout.    We do nothing conventionally in this house.

Baths were done, it was about 9:30 and I walked over to my son.   He has his old hand-me-down computer in the corner of the back room and as I was walking over there I looked out the window, which faces the front yard, and I notice a car out front.

My son noticed me paying attention to the car and said…

“They’ve been out there wrestling in the back seat for about 10 minutes.”

I fought back my initial smirk, pretended like is was just some innocent wrestling and went to the other end of the house to figure out what was really happening.

The “wrestling” that was going on in that car was anything BUT innocent.   Despite my vision being hampered by the downpour, there was, without question, two people in the backseat either performing a rhythmic dance ritual or doing what guys and girls “do”.

Despite being a homeschool family, this is really stretching the limits of what we want to be teaching here in the MTAE household.    I think in a couple of years, we’ll just turn on some Cinemax during one of those free weekends of movies…he should be able to pick up enough from there.

My son had already lost interest in the events taking place out front and I closed the blinds by his window to ensure the couple had a little privacy.  But I was going to have to do something about this.

If I am not getting any action inside, I’ll be damned if some strangers are going to experience this in my front yard.

Besides…there are all sorts of issues about the possibility of these kids, or maybe just one of them, being under the age on consent.   So I called the police non-emergency number.

This number is posted on my refrigerator and I end up calling for this same reason a couple of times a year.  We live at the end of a dead end street and it must have been a popular spot for the years this house sat vacant, because everyone must be telling their older brothers where to take their dates to get some action.

Out of about ten incidents, the police have only caught someone once…evidently teenage boys aren’t known for parking for “a long time”.  By the time I call the police and the 20 minutes, it takes the police to get to the house; the deed is done and they are off to do whatever else teenagers in “love” do. 

The one couple the police managed to catch “in the act” turned out to be a under aged girl (15) and a non-under aged boy (20).  It ended up with them carting him “downtown”.   I have a police scanner and it made for very interesting listening for about an hour.

Last night, either the police car made it faster, or the boy was a little more “skilled” than the others that have frequented my street for some “action”.   The police car pulled up right behind them and sat for about two minutes without them noticing the viewing party.

The officer aimed the spot light and shined in right in the car.   I was suprised that the feet and elbowed the were already moving at an accelerated pace, could move even faster…but they did.  The officer then turned on the overhead flashing lights announcing that there was going to be a threesome in their near future.    The officer let them get dressed for another two minutes before “SHE” came up to the car.

Yes!  A lady officer.  All I could think about was that this dude was going to be in trouble.   First he probably did a lot of convincing to get this girl to do what he wanted to do, then he had to probably covince her to do this in front of my house…only to get thwarted by a female officer.

The end of the proceedings were pretty uneventful and the car ended up leaving with the guy driving away and the girl leaving in the second police car that came to the house.   There was very little radio traffic from out there.  There was a lot of lightning and the usual calls about house fires and school alarms being set off were dominating the airwaves.

Going out and interrupting one of these situations is not something I really wanted to do and I will keep handing these the same way since I am really not looking for a confrontation or a peepshow.  

I guess it would be kind of funny for me to sneak out and get a picture for the next blog entry about this.  By the time I thought about grabbing the camera for a picture of the scene, all the lights were off and the star had already left the scene of the crime.

For you readers, I promise to do better next time with some crime scene photos.  Just of the police cars and lights flashing, not of the actual participants.