Funny is everywhere. Just look around…
As I pulled into McDonalds yesterday afternoon for tw0 $.99 chicken sandwiches, I should have known there was going to be trouble.
In front of me in line was a 75 year old lady and a van full of her grand kids. Actually, all six of them were girls and none of them looked older than seven.
If there is anything worse than an old woman trying to make a decision, it would be little girls. Leaving wasn’t an option, since, as some of you know Burger King is off limits because of an unfortunate incident with a plumber, his underwear and a Whopper.
Not that I would EVER take a van full of five year olds ANYWHERE, but I would rather re-circumcise myself with a fork than to take them through a drive-thru.
I would rather drink COLD hot dog water…
(Alright…enough, I think you get the idea)
It all unfolded right in front of me…
The old blue haired lady turned around and must have asked them what they wanted…or there must have been electrodes in their seats that activated when their van drove within 15 feet of a McDonalds.
I rolled down the window…
“WAAAAA!!!!! Who-Hoo!!!! McDonalds!!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!!!”
I’ll give it to Grandma…she had some skillz for on old lady. It took her about three minutes to calm down the crazy girls and gain control again. I could see her go around the van and ask each girl what they wanted…
I turned the radio off so I could listen…I needed to hear all of this…
“WAAAAA!!!!! Who-Hoo!!!! McDonalds!!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!!!”
Despite the pandemonium, and the constant changing of orders from the girls, Grandma finally pulled up to the window…
“…two chocolate sundaes…two strawberry sundaes…one without nuts…once vanilla cone…vanilla sundae with no topping at all…and…what do I want… make that another chocolate.
Then IT happened…from the speaker, the employee, also a lady said…
“Ma’am…can you repeat that order?”
*silence*
I don’t know how many 75 year old ladies you know, but leaving the house and actually getting back home again would be an accomplishment…remembering this order, even if she gave it only two minutes earlier, was not going to be happening.
“Uh…two strawberry sundaes…one chocolate…uh…didn’t you punch it in when I said it?”
“No ma’am, I am sorry. Could you repeat the order?”
The defeated old woman looked around and asked for seven vanilla cones.
This isn’t even the best part.
I was next in line and I pulled forward to the speaker. When asked, I ordered by two chicken sandwiches and was asked to repeat even my simple order.
At first, I felt bad for the female employee working the drive-thru for having to deal with the senile old lady and her ice cream order, but after messing up “two chicken sandwiches”, my patience was wearing thin…
But…when I made it to Window #1 as instructed, it all made sense…
The lady working the drive-thru was even older than the lady ordering the ice cream.
I sat in the drive-thru and laughed.
The thought of two crazy old ladies trying to pass all of the ice cream orders back and forth through a drive-thru speaker was more than I could handle with a straight face…
Funny IS everywhere.
So you find us oldsters to be objects of amusement do you? You’re damned lucky that old girl didn’t hear you complaining. My experience has been that the blue hairs are a nasty lot. She likely would have beaten you sensless or busted a cap off in your ass.
And she would have been right to do so.
Poor old granda.
THanks for the post you wise ass whippersnapper.
No one complaining…this was entertaining though. There was no chance of her hearing anything…even if I was complaining. I think the speaker and microphone were causing feedback on her hearing aide.
By: Donald Mills on July 11, 2009
at 9:46 pm
Funny is everywhere.
I no longer can recall what I heard two minutes ago and Grandma there has 40+ years on me.
I’d rather walk through a snake pit than go through a drive thru with my 3 girls… It’s s fight waiting to happen and I usually come out the loser.
I’d rather roll around naked on a pile of double edged razor blades than take a van full of girls through a drive-thru…
By: PolkaDotMommy on July 11, 2009
at 11:07 pm
“re circumcise myself with a fork…”
OUCH! Point made! Your mind reaches extremes that would never occur to most of us.
This is what makes you funny. (And a bit twisted, I might add.)
The thought of drinking cold hot dog water is, somehow, equally unappealing.
By: territerri on July 12, 2009
at 8:39 am
Why didn’t you just yell out the order for the nice grandma since you remembered the order? Ha. You have been caught sacrificing your human decency for a laugh.
I have yet to have a senior citizen take my order, but I always have to repeat my order. Yes, I am a very liberal type, but seriously, if you want to climb your way up the American ladder, figure out how people say “Big Mac” and “Number One.”
Around here, McDonalds is full of employees that are either under 20 or senior citizens.
By: Laura on July 12, 2009
at 11:34 am
How do you know the lady in the van was 75?
Also, I’ve had the good fortune of being in a drive-thru with three pre-teen girls and can honestly say I came through the experience a better, more adjusted person than I was before.
But I’ve found no matter what their age, McDonald’s seems to only hire mentally challenged individuals so you have to go prepared to deal with that or your whole day will be ruined.
How did I know she was 75? Maybe it was the “I LIKE IKE” bumper sticker…
By: Kimmothy on July 12, 2009
at 12:24 pm
I’ve not had any luck with posting comments today, damn Blogger is having some sort of trouble. So since you’re on WP, I’ll give this the ol’ college try. I sat here and LMAO about this story!! Good Lord what is McD’s thinking, having an old lady like that on drive thru. Can you repeat the order??? OMG That is hilarious. That poor old lady in the van with the kids. I don’t blame her for ordering seven ice cream cones after that. Bwwahhahahaha.
Maybe I am jut the glass half empty guy…but all of those cones in the van is a recipe for disaster.
By: Midlife Mama on July 12, 2009
at 12:55 pm
I realize I’m a girl, but I gotta say it…
The re-circumcise was funny, but it was the cold hot dog water that took me down!! LOL
Not much grosser than hot dog water…even wiht some Kool-Aid as flavoring.
By: Dyskinesia on July 13, 2009
at 1:06 am
Hm, well, at least McD’s is an EEO.
Too bad they are in the food distribution business…hard to make money if you aren’t handing out food.
By: Stephanie of Stopbouncing on July 13, 2009
at 9:40 am